This quirky little tale was inspired by my dear friend Pat Paone, a lady whose dedication to Ron Perlman and his career is unsurpassed. In a late-night telephone conversation, as we discussed Ron's various characters, she defended dear Amoukar after I said that perhaps he was none too bright. Pat's staunch reply had me falling about in hysterics.

"Ah," she said with a smile in her voice, "But he would have been regarded as quite a catch in his day!"

So there was the challenge, and it bugged me until I plucked up the courage to write Amoukar of the Quest. So don't laugh at me, dear readers and fellow Ronaholics, and try not to take this little tale too seriously … and, at least, Amoukar finally gets the girl.

Author's note: It was once believed that Homo Sapiens Neanderthalensis was a primitive race of early man that died out through being unable to compete with Cro Magnon Man, but today's anthropologists disagree with this view. Their tools are finely crafted , there is evidence of some sort of spiritual belief with the discovery of shallow graves, and academics are also tentatively thinking that they had a ritualistic society as the remains of pollen and flowers have been found in these graves. Music also became part of Neanderthal life with the discovery of a small bone flute, and beautiful carved animals have also been found in caves known to have been inhabited by Neanderthals.

On a lighter note, it has been discovered that the gene for red hair has only been found in DNA from Neanderthal remains and in no other DNA of ancient man - which means the Neanderthals mated with non-Neanderthals, and passed on the gene. So those of you who have red hair now know where it comes from …

This story is based on Jean-Jacques Annaud's award-winning film Quest for Fire, and I have used the phonetic vocal language and complex body language developed for the film by zoologist/behavioural theorist Dr. Desmond Morris and novelist/linguist Anthony Burgess to convey the society of the Ulam tribe. Oh, and I haven't made the Ulam quite as primitive as portrayed in the film, as anthropology has advanced considerably since the making of Quest for Fire over two decades ago. I have tried to portray the Ulam as they would be regarded by today's anthropologists - intelligent, capable, and highly socialised.

Glossary:

Atlatl - a spear that rested in a notched stick held in the hand and used as a lever to propel the weapon swiftly and accurately into its prey.

Cave bear (Ursus spelaeus) - nine feet long and weighing up to a ton, the cave bear was far larger than today's grizzly bear. Primarily a herbivore, it was nevertheless a fearsome opponent and much revered by Neanderthals, as evidenced by the ritualistic display of cave bear skulls in caves known to be inhabited by them.